i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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