But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
