A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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