exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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