Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
