why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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