saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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