It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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