I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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