one two three fourrrrnication!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
