What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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