remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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