That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So squirting runs in the family.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
