The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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