I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
