Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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