there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
