So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
