a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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