told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need to calm my uterus...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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