Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize