I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
