so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
