No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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