Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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