got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
God, I missed his penis.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
