That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
