i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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