That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
