i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
