well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
love makes seman taste better
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
