I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my being single is dangerous.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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