She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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