just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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