Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
