I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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