In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
