if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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