i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
