That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
