Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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