Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
