I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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