So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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