So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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