i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
