Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my shit smells like andre
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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