Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
