If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
