Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize